


Bad Luck Ninja

by Rahenna



Series: Ace of Hearts [28]
Category: Gakuen Heaven 2 ~Double Scramble~
Genre: Age Difference, Comedy of Errors, M/M, Ninja, Secret Relationship, Teacher-Student Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-03
Updated: 2016-05-03
Packaged: 2018-06-06 05:51:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6741088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rahenna/pseuds/Rahenna
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ninosuke resents how Yuki's never around to help on weekends, and that his friends won't tell him what's up. He decides to follow Yuki and figure out why he's always going out. It's a battle of ninja skills versus luck! Which superpower will win?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bad Luck Ninja

**Author's Note:**

> Contains spoilers for Gakuen Heaven 2. If you intend to play the game yourself, reading this may ruin your fun a bit. :)
> 
> Originally posted here:  
> [Adults Always Lie](http://heaven.neo-romance.net/lies/)
> 
> If you want to know more about the Gakuen Heaven series, please visit my fansite for game translations and summaries:  
> [welcome to Heaven](http://heaven.neo-romance.net/)

**Saturday, December 2, 2017**

It was a usual Saturday for the student council, with Kuya looking bored as he poked at paperwork, and Masatsugu working diligently and shooting disapproving glances at me and Kuya. Oh, and Asahina. He was there too, which was actually unusual for a Saturday now that I thought about it. Most weekends, he had some sort of excuse about being busy and didn't bother showing up at all.

 _About time he helped out with the planning and stuff,_ I thought, frowning at him as he snatched a pile of papers from Kuya with a laugh. That was one of the many advantages of the mask; I could make as many faces at Asahina as I wanted, and he'd never know.

Asahina tilted his head. "Hattori-san? Is something wrong?"

I was shocked, but managed to hold my body still, though someone less trained might have jumped in surprise. _How did you know I was frowning at you?_ "It's nothing, Asahina, why are you asking me anyway? I didn't say anything to you."

"Well, you were looking this way for a little while, so I thought maybe you had something to say about the paperwork. Do you have an idea about how to do it faster?"

"I do," Masatsugu cut in, tapping the paper on the top of the stack. "Less talking, more work."

"Don't be so boring, Masatsugu," Kuya sighed, flipping through the stapled pages of a proposal. "Everyone's been working hard since lunchtime. I think we deserve a break."

"Not everyone," Masatsugu countered, glancing briefly in my direction.

"Don't look at me like that!" I snapped. "Technically, I don't even have to be here, I don't have a special position in the student council like the rest of you!" I tried not to glare at Asahina, feeling vaguely worried that he would somehow sense that I was looking at him again. Despite all of my physical skills, there was something about Asahina that I couldn't measure up to. It was like he was some sort of emotional ninja, reading minds just by glancing at faces, or guessing at the exact thing a friend was trying to hide. It was unsettling.

"But you're still a member!" Kuya was cheerful as always. "If you're going to come to the meetings, you should help out too, Ninosuke! Here, you're good with numbers, check this budget proposal!"

Kuya pushed the paper across the table toward me, but I sent it back to him with the barest flick of one finger. "Don't push your work off on me! You already started working on this one, so you finish it up. Give me something that isn't half-done if you really want my help."

"Very well."

With that terse response, Masatsugu dropped a thick folder onto the table in front of me.

"Hey! You can't just hand me the most difficult one! That's not fair!"

"I never claimed it was fair. But this absolutely must be handled today, unless you fancy the idea of coming back tomorrow to finish it?" He adjusted his glasses, and light glinted unpleasantly off of his lenses. I shivered; Masatsugu's understated threats were more effective than any amount of stupid whining that Asahina or Kuya might use in an attempt to change my mind.

"Whatever," I mumbled, flipping open the folder to scan the top page. "Ugh, the hell, this is a club formation proposal! They'll need a budget and stuff like that if it's approved."

"Yes, that's right."

I swallowed hard. Budgets meant talking to Sonoda. And wherever Sonoda was, there was a pretty good chance that Joker and his guard dog would be right there beside him.

"A- anyway! This is the kind of stuff the student council president should be doing, not me!"

"Well, yeah," Kuya agreed, "but you were the president for two years, you know how to handle club stuff. So just take care of it, okay?"

"No, why can't Asahina do it?" My eyes flicked to the first year, narrowing as I realized that he was packing his bag. "Where are you going?"

Asahina froze, still holding his pencil case. "Oh, um, I have stuff to do this weekend..."

"Again? You're always running out on the weekends, if you even show up in the first place!"

I felt a little thrill of victory as his cheeks darkened. "W, well, I promised to meet someone..."

I saw Kuya and Masatsugu glance at each other, eyes locking for a moment before Masatsugu spoke up. "Ninosuke, Asahina informed us all of his need to leave early today. Surely you received the email? We were all copied--"

"I got the stupid email! But sending an email isn't some magic spell that releases you from all your responsibilities! It's Asahina's turn to work on Sunday!"

Asahina was pouting as he replied, "I always catch up on my work when I get back on Sunday. There was only one time I didn't finish it all, and that's because Kuya-san already did it for me. Don't keep bringing that up, Kuya-san wasn't mad."

"That's right, I didn't mind at all!"

_Stupid Kuya, why are you always defending him?! And you too, Masatsugu, what do you know?_

My thoughts were swirling, hot and angry, but my tone was chilly. "Fine. See you later, Asahina."

He was completely oblivious to my cold manner, and his voice was cheery as usual as he gathered up his bag and waved to me. "Yeah, bye, Hattori-san! If you don't finish, leave it for me!"

"Have fun, Yuki!" I _swear_ Kuya winked as he said it.

Masatsugu gave him a _look_ , and Kuya elbowed him. He sighed. "See you on Monday, Asahina."

The moment Asahina was out of the room, I pulled off my goggles and mask so I could glare at Kuya and Masatsugu more effectively. "Alright, you two, I'm getting really sick of this every weekend! Why do you let him run off every Saturday even though we have a mountain of work to do?"

As expected, Kuya was the first to leap to Asahina's defense. "Yuki won the Bell One. As far as I'm concerned, he doesn't have to do a single thing for the rest of the year."

"Winning a stupid contest has nothing to do with actual student council work!"

"Not directly," Masatsugu's tone was frosty, "but bear in mind that there would be no school or student council without that contest win. And Asahina works hard during the week, doing far more than his fair share of work." His eyes were on me again, slightly narrowed.

I stood, banging my hands on the table. "Are you implying that I'm slacking off?!"

"No, I didn't intend to imply it. I should have been more clear: Ninosuke, you're slacking off."

I chose to ignore that; I wasn't the problem anyway. "Asahina is slacking off way more! Even if he does more during the week, the work I do on the weekends is at least as much! Don't the rest of us deserve a weekend off every once in a while? It's not fair!"

"We can take a weekend off!" Kuya was grinning like an idiot. "It would be fun if the three of us went out somewhere, like we used to! Why not that nice cafe in town? Masatsugu can write, and they have really delicious coffee, and--"

"Kuya," I cut him off, knowing he'd go on for five minutes about the merits of the cafe if no one stopped his rambling, "that's not the point! I don't _want_ to go out every weekend, I want the _option_ to do what I want on weekends! None of us are ever gonna meet girls if we're trapped in this stuffy room every Saturday instead of going out. Isn't that what Asahina is doing? There's a rumor that he has a girlfriend in town that he sees every weekend. I want to do that! Why are you letting him go out with some girl while we're stuck here just _wishing_ we had someone?"

They glanced at each other again, practically confirming it; they knew _exactly_ what Asahina was up to, where he was going and who he was seeing. That was more annoying than anything, knowing that my so-called best friends had a secret and had locked me out of it. That's how things had been since Asahina's arrival at the school. What the hell!? He was the outsider, not me!

I banged on the table again. "If you're not going to tell me what he's up to, then I'll find out myself!"

"Ninosuke, I can't tell you what I don't know." Kuya's smile was that obviously fake, pasted-on grin he wore whenever he attempted to hide something. "What he does is his own business. Let's focus on having fun in our own way! If you want a day off, then just take one!"

 _You are such a horrible liar, Kuya._ Still, it was interesting to watch the emotions play out on his face as he tried to be deceptive, so I sank back into my chair so I could watch him more comfortably. "Yeah, good idea, maybe I will take a day off."

He nodded, grinning as if he'd won. "It's a good idea, isn't it?"

"No, it's not," Masatsugu countered, jabbing at the folder with one finger. "This needs to be completed this weekend, no excuses."

"Sure, fine," I grumbled, "but not until you guys stop lying to me."

"No one is lying to you, Ninosuke."

"Not directly! But you're lying by omission or whatever! You two know exactly what Asahina is up to, and you're covering for him for some reason! I don't see why I have to put up with that sort of treatment. Everyone's always going on about how we're all in the student council together, let's all be friends, yay yay yay, but you're purposely keeping me in the dark about this!" I turned to glare at Kuya, knowing that my complaints would be more effective on him. "It's not right!"

"W, well, it's private!" He looked a bit panicked as he thought of an excuse. "Yuki's a local, so maybe he's just visiting his family!"

"If he's just visiting family, why are you two acting so suspicious? It has to be something else!"

Masatsugu sighed loudly. "Ninosuke, I don't know why you're so obsessed with exactly what Asahina is doing. If you're upset about him missing our Saturday meetings, fine. Please direct your anger at me and Kuya, since we're the ones permitting him to leave early."

"Trust me, I'm plenty angry at you two! But that makes things even _more_ suspicious. Why are you guys trying so hard to cover for him, to the point of practically begging me to take it out on you?"

Kuya was getting frustrated. "Listen, Ninosuke, everyone has things that they want to keep secret. If you want to know that badly, you can ask Yuki yourself!"

"So there _is_ a secret!" I declared, even as Masatsugu shook his head and let out one of his trademark exasperated sighs. "Good idea, Kuya, I _will_ go figure things out for myself since you guys don't trust me!" I leapt up from the table again, staring directly into Kuya's eyes as I did so. "I thought you were my friends!"

"Ninosuke!" Kuya jumped up to chase after me, but he had no hope of catching up. By the time he made it to the door, I was already hidden in the shadows, holding my breath in hopes of catching any extra information before heading out. Masatsugu joined Kuya at the door a few seconds later, motioning for him to come back inside.

"I can't! Ninosuke is going to chase after Yuki! It'll be a disaster!"

"Don't worry about Asahina. Luck is on his side. Sadly, Ninosuke doesn't seem to have much luck these days..."

I gritted my teeth but held completely still.

"But Ninosuke's a ninja! You know how amazing his skills are!"

Well, I couldn't help grinning at that.

"Then we'll have to consider this a practical test of Asahina's luck."

Kuya shrugged off Masatsugu's hand and turned to face him. I couldn't see his expression, but from his tone, I could imagine his sullen pout. "You _want_ him to be found out, don't you?"

Masatsugu folded his arms over his broad chest, tone flat as he replied, "I can't say I'm completely neutral in this situation, but I don't want Asahina to be hurt, either. It's complicated."

Kuya sighed. "Please, luck, work hard today..."

Hmph, Asahina was going to need more than mere luck if he wanted to stay a step ahead of me. He was so predictable, taking the same path from place to place every day. I'd already memorized his schedule, including all his classes and when he tended to make trips to the school store and vending machines. Today was no different; his first stop would be the school store, where he'd pick up a yakisoba sandwich to eat during his walk to the bus stop.

I followed, sticking to the shadows. The hallway wasn't completely deserted, since students were going back and forth to club activities and to remedial classes, but no one saw me as I followed Asahina into the store. I masterfully blended into the background as he stared at the array of sandwiches on display, rolling my eyes as he muttered to himself, unable to decide.

_Gimme a break, you're going to give up and get the yakisoba like you always do!_

Another first year approached; the utterly ordinary Kasahara. "Hey, Yuki, you're here late today."

The idiot's face lit up with a grin. "Oh, Tomo! I had some extra student council work today, but I still wanted to get a sandwich before leaving. What do you think I should buy?"

"Umm... how about a chocolate horn? Though I kind of can't eat the ones from here after tasting the ones your mom sent. There's no comparison." Kasahara tilted his head. "Hey, that's right, if you're going out, why don't you just get a sandwich from your dad's bakery?"

Asahina's cheeks colored a bit. "W, well, I'm not really going to be near the bakery today..."

"Oh... I see." Kasahara's friendly manner suddenly cooled, and he grabbed one of the chocolate horns without really looking at it. "Well, I guess I'll see you on Monday, then."

"Yeah," Asahina mumbled. "U, um, good luck with your lessons!"

"Ugh, don't remind me," Kasahara sighed, offering a halfhearted wave as he departed for the register. Asahina stood there for a few more moments, then shrugged and took a yakisoba sandwich from the display and followed him.

I raised one eyebrow. Odd. Those two were supposed to be best friends, right? They were in every class together and were stuck to each other pretty often after school, too. As far as I could tell, their friendship had decayed since the end of the Bell One. Maybe they'd only been close because of the crisis, then drifted apart after their duty was done?

Well, wondering about it wasn't going to help anything, so I settled for following Asahina from the store and out into the courtyard. It was overcast outside, the ambient temperature chilly with a piercing icy breeze, but that wasn't going to stop me. It wasn't stopping Asahina either; he merrily strolled across the frozen ground, idly munching on his sandwich and waving at the students who called out to him.

"Hey, Ace! Where's your winter coat, aren't you cold?"

_Ugh, why does everyone call him Ace in that reverent tone! No one ever did that for me!!_

He shook his head. "I'm always warm! Everyone says I'm like a walking furnace, haha..."

"No wonder you're such a dumbass, all your energy goes to your body, not your brain."

"Oh, Yagami!" Asahina turned to smile at the heavily bundled pair that shuffled up behind him. "And Arata-san too! Are you two really that cold?"

"Arata is freezing!" Minase complained loudly, and his ferret peeked its head out to chitter in agreement. "Let's hurry up and go inside, Ace-kun!"

"Ah, wait, don't pull on me!" Asahina was too polite to pull his arm from Minase's grasp, so he just pouted instead. "I'm on my way to the bus stop, my bus is leaving in ten minutes and I wanted enough time to get another snack on the way..."

"Another snack?" Yagami peered at his sandwich. "You're gonna be a hundred kilos by the end of the school year if you don't stop stuffing your stupid face."

"Hyahaha, Reo-Reo, maybe you should eat more so you can bulk up!" Minase danced out of the way, dragging Asahina with him, to avoid Yagami's kick. "Oops, too slow!"

"Shut _up_ , Arata! I eat tons of meat! That's like a million percent protein! I'm gonna be huge!"

"Yagamiii, don't kick! You almost got me that time!" Asahina looked ridiculous, pouting with his mouth full of yakisoba. He finally escaped Minase with a gentle shake of his arm, stepping back before either of the others could latch onto him again. "Sorry, guys, I'm in a hurry! But I'll have some time tomorrow evening if you want to play video games or something!"

"Okaaay!" Minase called, waving. "Have fun!"

"Hey," Yagami elbowed him, "you really think you should be telling him to have fun? You didn't forget what he's gonna be doing, right?"

It was hard to see his expression from a distance, but the way Minase's shoulders dropped slightly made it clear that he was concerned. "Well... Yuki seems okay so far. All we can do is keep an eye on him for now. I don't want to step in unless I'm sure that he's in trouble."

So Minase _could_ talk like a normal human being. That was surprising, but his worries were much more interesting. Rumor had it that Asahina was dating outside the school, and some of the juicier variations suggested both that he was sleeping with someone, and that they were older. A college girl, that was the most accepted story, though the most daring gossip stated that it was either a married woman, or another guy. Now _that_ would be a scandal. And it sounded like Minase knew more about it than any of the idiots who were just spouting off rumors.

Unfortunately, he and Yagami were already scurrying off toward the school building, dramatically rubbing their arms as they fled from the cold. If I followed them back inside, there was a chance that Asahina would slip away. A slim chance, but I didn't want to trade the certainty of tracking Asahina for the mere possibility that his classmates would drop more information about his activities. Better to stick to the original plan; there would always be more opportunities to follow around other students and gather information.

It took mere moments to catch up to Asahina, staying in the shadows the entire time. Someone with lesser skills would have trouble finding places to hide among the trees, now nothing more than naked branches, but it was child's play for me squeeze and twist my body into narrow gaps or mimic the forms of the bare trees. And once we reached the courtyard with its bush-lined walkways, staying out of sight would be a trivial matter.

I tailed the clueless idiot all the way to the bus stop, keeping a safe distance between us. Strangely, the path was deserted; it seemed like everyone who was going off-campus for the day had already left, or maybe everyone had decided to stay at school since it was so cold outside.

As expected, Asahina ducked into the bus shelter to get away from the chill wind, and began earnestly contemplating the vending machine choices within. "Hmm," he mused, balling up the sandwich wrapper and tossing it into the bin, "do I want milk coffee or cocoa...?"

_Probably both, knowing you, you little piglet._

I crept closer, leaping up onto the roof of the shelter without a sound, and peeked in to peer at the bus schedule. If Asahina's bus was leaving in about ten minutes, that meant he would be headed out on the very next bus. A quick scan of the map revealed that his destination could be... well, anywhere in town, since it was the main route for the surrounding area, passing through all the major areas of the shopping district. And there was no way to know where he planned to get off, or if he would have to transfer at any point.

 _Crap!_ I sat cross-legged on top of the shelter and let out a quiet sigh of aggravation. Of course I was prepared to follow him to the very end, but it would have been so much easier if there had been some clue about where he was headed. I would just have to wait until the bus arrived and hitch a ride. But the moment I decided that, the quiet shuffle of footsteps reached my ears. I dove into the bushes a split second later, barely needing time to think before taking action.

I knew those footsteps; I didn't even have to peer out of the bushes to know that Chiba was approaching. He was admittedly pretty good at making a stealthy approach, but he was no match for me. I peeked out from between the leaves, wondering what he was doing out in the chill. Not training, since he was wearing his school uniform, but that just meant he was on a mission from Joker. He paused several meters from the bus shelter, nodding to himself as he spotted Asahina inside, and retreated a few steps, stopping to look around with his hand on the hilt of his wooden practice sword.

Interesting. Was Joker following Asahina's movements too?

Chiba's gaze swept over the surrounding area with a frightening efficiency, but even though he looked directly at my hiding place more than once, his features remained calm and unreadable. Naturally, it was impossible for a mere swordsman like him to spot me.

The peace of the winter afternoon was cut by a loud caw. Chiba's eyes widened slightly, and he looked toward the sky. "A crow...?"

I smirked, watching as he turned around slowly, attempting to find the source of the sound. What an amateur, allowing himself to be distracted by something as simple as a crow. He was supposed to be watching Asahina, not going on a nature tour. So much for Joker's loyal guard dog.

I swallowed a gasp at a tug on my sleeve. When I glanced down, a blur of glossy black danced back, taking to the air. What the hell!? A crow, trying to peck at my sleeve?

_Stupid brazen bird, who do you think you are?_

The rustle of wings drew Chiba's attention, but I remained perfectly still, my breath so controlled that even without my mask, I wouldn't have disturbed a single leaf. Just as he turned away again, muttering something under his breath, something swooped at my head. I ducked down just in time to avoid it, and when I glared up, a crow was soaring up into the sky, a scrap of black fabric clutched in its claws.

Did it just rip a piece off my hood?!?

Before I had time to think, another crow divebombed me, and I flattened myself against the ground to avoid its beak. But then there was another, and another. Footsteps stomped toward me, and Chiba's harsh voice rang out. "Who's there? Show yourself!"

 _Oh hell no, I'm not coming out of the bushes for you!_ I crawled away as quickly as I could, heading away from the bus stop and deeper into the courtyard, but with the crows dropping out of the sky like giant angry insects, there was no way to remain undercover. I pushed myself to my knees and rolled away, grinning as I heard the rustle of a crow grazing the tall grass instead of my back, then leapt to my feet and began to run. Somehow, my speed was no match for the birds, and they kept diving at me, squawking and swooping, and it wasn't long before Chiba overtook me.

"Stop right there!"

Yeah, as if I was gonna stop for him! But as I dashed away, a gleaming wall of swooping black shapes prevented any progress. It was as if the crows somehow understood that Chiba was an ally of sorts, and were acting to assist him!

A cold sweat broke out on the back of my neck. Had Joker somehow convinced the crows to do his bidding? Somehow the image of Joker looming over his enemies, a crow perched on either shoulder, didn't seem all that unlikely...

Wait, what the hell was I thinking?! That wasn't possible!

"What do you want?" I hissed, sidestepping yet another angry ball of feathers. 

Chiba glared at me, sword held at the ready. "Why are you following Asahina?"

Thankfully, my look of surprise was hidden behind my mask. How did he...? "What are you talking about? You're the one following Asahina, aren't you?"

"You've been tailing him ever since he left the student council room. What are you up to?"

"None of your business!" I took a swing at an approaching crow, but it swerved away at the last moment. That didn't stop another one from hopping across the ground and pecking at the hem of my pants. What the hell was up with these crows? As far as I knew, they didn't mate or nest in the winter, so why were they getting all territorial? Plenty of people walked through the courtyard every day, even cutting through the bushes if they were late to class! Why me?!

Chiba was oblivious to my confusion, and he inched closer. "Joker-sama told me to make it my business. Stop following Asahina."

"Or else what? You'll swing at me with your stick? I'll be long gone before you even finish winding up!" I aimed a kick at the nearest crow; it flapped away with a caw.

Chiba's eyes flicked to the crow for a moment, then back to me. His gaze was intense, cutting through me like a laser beam. "What did you do to the crows?"

I gritted my teeth to keep a snappy comeback from slipping out; if he wanted to change the subject, that was fine with me! "I didn't do anything to them, maybe they're annoyed by you!" Even I knew it was a stupid thing to say; it was obvious that the crows were after me. They were completely ignoring Chiba's presence. What would make wild animals act so strangely? A glimmer of memory tugged at my consciousness. Masatsugu's voice, maybe?

_Ninosuke, it would be unwise to even attempt to hit a crow with a stone. Crows have excellent memories, and they communicate with other members of their flock. Studies have shown that people who anger crows might continue to be attacked for months or even years afterward by members of that flock._

"Are you serious?" I muttered. "These damn crows have some sort of bird grudge against me?"

My stomach dropped as I realized that it was true. At the beginning of the school year, when I'd been hiding out on the school island instead of going to class, Masatsugu had left food for me. The problem was, half the time the crows found it before I did, and I had to chase them away in order to rescue the remainder of my dinner. 

_Damned crazy crows! What was I supposed to do, let them eat it while I starved?_

Meanwhile, Chiba was unfazed and unmolested, advancing steadily through the crowd of birds without drawing even the slightest bit of notice.

 _Ha, you think you're gonna get me because of some stupid birds?_ I reached into my breast pocket, drawing out a heavy round object. "Hey, Chiba!"

He didn't even blink at my shout; he just continued moving forward with the cool confidence of a steel wall. Which made it very easy to judge the exact moment he'd be in range.

"Ha!" I threw the ball, and it exploded into a cloud of thick black smoke the instant it slammed into the ground. Crows fled in a panic, their angry caws filling the sky. I held my breath, waiting a few seconds for them to clear off, then backflipped out of the smoky air, bouncing off the surface of a nearby rock to land on a low-hanging branch. I cackled under my breath as Chiba's rough coughing reached my ears, but there was no time to waste gloating over my victory. I bounced through the branches as effortlessly as a squirrel, making my way back to the bus stop.

"Whaaaaaat?!" I shrieked, shaking my fist at the rapidly receding back end of the bus. "Damned bus never comes early when _I_ need to go anywhere!!"

"Meow?" a small voice asked.

"Oh no..." I glanced down. A slim calico cat was stretched out beside me on the concrete sidewalk outside the bus shelter, attempting to soak up the meager rays of winter sunshine. He hopped to his feet the moment our eyes met, letting out another mew of greeting. I stood up too, reflexively brushing at the front of my outfit even though there wasn't any hair stuck to it. Yet.

My nose itched. I knew it was a simple overreaction to the cat's presence; there was no way any hair or dander could have gotten inside my mask that quickly, but my traitorous body had already decided that the mere presence of a cat was reason enough to start having an allergic reaction. I waved my hands at the approaching fuzzball. "No, Wakasama, shoo! I don't have time to play with you right now! Go find Kuya!"

"Meoooow?" I swear the cat understood what I was saying. He tilted his head, yellow eyes unblinking as he stared up at me. If I had to say that the cat had an expression on his fuzzy little face, it was expectant.

"No, I'm not going to pet you! How many times do I have to tell you, I'm allergic to cats!" My nose twitched with the promise of a sneeze. Ha, like I was going to give in to something as pathetic as a mild allergy so easily! I stepped forward, and the cat moved out of the way. "Good. Now run along and play or something, I don't have time to mess around with you."

I stepped out of the shelter, wondering if I should wait for the next bus, which followed a route that was somewhat similar to the one Asahina was on, or consider an alternate means of transportation. Except I remembered that my wallet had been looking pretty empty recently, thanks to a new wave of goods released for my favorite anime series. A taxi was out of the question.

"Ugh, stupid bus! Why'd you have to come so early!?"

"Mew?" Wakasama rubbed against my leg, leaving behind a bunch of fine multicolored hairs.

"Agh, no, don't do that!" I moved my leg to push him away, but he easily stepped out of range. As soon as I brought my leg back, the cat was up against me again, purring.

"What's with you? Don't you know when you're not wanted?!" I reached down to grab his tail, but like before, he scooted out of the way before I could get him. Wakasama turned back, as if glancing over his shoulder to mock me.

"Hey, what's that in your mouth?" My heart sank. "Hey, no, how'd you get my wallet?! It was in my back pocket... oh, wait..." I'd put it in the lower right pocket of my cargo pants, using it to counterbalance the weight of the smoke bombs I'd tucked into the left pocket. All of Wakasama's stupid rubbing had somehow gotten the pocket open.

"Meow?" Somehow that stupid cat managed to meow with his mouth full of wallet. Even worse, he bounded away down the sidewalk, giving me no choice but to follow.

"Argh, you stupid cat! Why are you doing this?! Gimme my wallet!"

Kuya was always saying stupid stuff about how Wakasama was the boss of the school cats. Boss or not, no mere cat was a match for my speed. It took less than a minute to catch up, even though he'd had a sizeable head start. Just as I dove for him, he took a sharp left and detoured into the grass, so I rolled along the sidewalk and pushed off with one foot, intending to snag him by the hind legs, or even his tail if that was necessary.

Except my foot squished into something unpleasantly wet, and I slipped, falling on my face in the grass. Wakasama's furry backside was less than a meter from my face, and he turned around, meowing loudly. My wallet tumbled to the ground and I crawled forward, snatching it up before he could get his drooly mouth on it again. "Ugh, you're so annoying! Now shoo, shoo... achooooooo!"

Wakasama's fur stood on end in response to the explosive sneeze, and he zoomed away at top speed.

"Stupid cat," I muttered, pushing myself to my feet and tucking the wallet back into its proper place in my back pocket. When I picked up my foot to begin the trek back to the bus stop, I noticed something on my shoe. Something brown, sticky, and, I was sure, stinky.

"ARRRRRRRGH!"

I scraped off as much as I could on the grass, dragging my foot across the frozen ground as I made my way back to the bus stop. Still, cat poop was one of the most persistent gross things in the world, and when I got on the bus, I wasn't sure if people were staring because of my cool ninja outfit, or because there was an offensive smell coming from my right foot. Luckily, no one could tell that I was sweating nervously under my mask, wondering if someone was going to call me out on it. Most people wouldn't dare to challenge a ninja's right to ride the bus, right?

Fortunately, I was getting off at the first stop, and I did my best to hop down the aisle, keeping my somewhat messy shoe off the floor. Outside, the busy downtown street was full of life, with bundled up kids peeking into store windows at Christmas toy displays, and couples walking arm in arm as they chatted. Hmph. Now where could Asahina have gone? If a little glutton like him was going out on a date, it had to be at one of the nearby cafes.

I didn't bother hiding myself as I walked down the street. I had every right to go shopping, and anyway, it was kind of fun to listen to little kids get excited about 'a real life ninja!' Of course, that was typically followed up with begging mom to get a ninja outfit for Christmas.

_Heh, you wish, kid. Even if you train, you'll never have the prized Hattori clan secret techniques!_

I could hide myself once I got to the row of fancy cafes and bakeries. For the moment, I was enjoying the praise and admiration that my skills deserved. After a day filled with bad luck, I was owed at least that much of a break.

"Hiiii, ex-Ace, fancy meeting you here!"

I stopped midstep, blood freezing at the sound of that falsely cheery singsong. "Ugh..."

Joker pushed away from the wall he was leaning against, a soulless grin on his lips as he approached. Sonoda followed suit, though his smile was a twisted, sarcastic smirk. He reached up to run one hand through his ridiculously fake red hair as he spoke. "Heh, it's been a while, ex-student council president. What are you doing here?"

"Hayato called to let me know you were heading into town today." Joker's sapphire eye glittered. "Did you come all the way here just to play a game with me? I’m flattered, ex-Ace."

Ugh, stupid Chiba, of course the idiot guard dog would go barking to his master! "Stop calling me ex-Ace! I have a name!" I shouted, holding my head high. "Anyway, I can go out on weekends if I want!"

"So you _do_ want to play a game?" Joker's right hand was on his hip. Was he patting his gun or something? How the hell did he get away with carrying that in public, anyway?!

"No one wants to play a game with you," I mumbled, sweat breaking out on the back of my neck as I forced myself to maintain eye contact.

"Really? The entire school seems to enjoy my games. So," he pulled a pack of cards from, well, nowhere, it seemed. It kind of irked me to admit that he was good enough at sleight of hand and petty magic tricks to fool even my trained eyes.

"Um, no, I'm not interested," I mumbled, trying not to meet Joker's eyes. Well, eye.

Joker ignored me and began shuffling the cards. "Eiji, what should we play?"

Sonoda tossed his head, sidling closer to Joker. "Make it something all three of us can play, Kiyo. It's no fun just sitting on the sidelines while you get to have fun with the ex-Ace."

"Good idea, Eiji. Why not something like this? Each of us takes a card, and whoever has the highest value gets to tell the one with the lowest what to do. And the third person can add a command to either, depending on whose value his card is closest to. How's that?"

"Oh, that's better than your usual spur of the moment game ideas," Sonoda smirked, reaching for the cards, but Joker held them up over his head, just out of reach. "Ugh, don't be a brat, Kiyo."

Since when did those two get along so well? I mean.... they were both members of Durak, but somehow their sarcasm was different from before. Less harsh, maybe? "Whatever. I don't have time for your nonsense." But before I could turn around, Joker's hand was gripping my arm. He wasn't stronger than me, not by a long shot, but something about his cool grin and the piercing stare of his intensely blue eye fixed me in place. "Hey... let go..."

He shoved a handful of cards at my face. "Pick a card, ex-Ace."

The huff of heavy brakes drew my attention; we were right next to yet another bus stop. Hope sparked in my chest as I saw the door swing open to let passengers off, just enough to break Joker's spell. I pulled away from his grip and sprinted for the bus.

"Where are you going?" Joker called after me, amused. "That bus doesn't go back to the school."

"Heh, just let him go, Kiyo. It's no fun to play with someone who's a total loser."

Ugh, they were the losers, not me! I paid the cheapest fare - which seemed unusually expensive, maybe because it was Saturday? - and settled down in the first empty window seat to peer out at Joker and Sonoda. They couldn't see my face because of the mask, but that made it easier for me to stick my tongue out without worrying about future retaliation.

"Jerks," I muttered, settling back into the seat and folding my arms over my chest as the bus pulled away from the sidewalk. I looked around the interior of the bus, making a face as I noticed that a bunch of the passengers had suitcases with them. "Weird..."

It took me several minutes to realize that I'd gotten on the one-way bus to Narita Airport, and that I was going to be trapped on it for nearly two hours. And then I'd have to go back!

"Damnit!" I growled, drawing disapproving stares from the other passengers. I shrank back into my seat, sweating.

_Curse you and your stupid luck, Asahina! And screw you, crows, and Chiba, and Wakasama, and Joker!!_

~~~

_five hours later..._

I pushed open the door to the student council room with a weary _I'm back_ and shuffled over to my usual seat. Kuya and Masatsugu were still working; I'd noticed that the lights were still on as I approached the school building. They stared at me as I made my way across the room, but I barely had the strength to pick up my head and mutter, "What are you looking at?"

Kuya pointed to the door. "I can't remember the last time you came in the normal way! Are you okay?"

"No," I sighed, slumping forward onto the table, nearly knocking over a stack of folders. "I'll probably never be okay again."

They glanced at each other, and Masatsugu asked, "Ninosuke, are you injured? It's highly unusual for you use the door, or to be so exhausted. If you need medical attention--"

"Oh, shut up," I grumbled, lifting my head just enough to pull my mask off. "You have _no_ idea how much crap I've been through today."

Kuya leaned forward, an expression of concern on his face, but I didn't wait for him to ask. Words poured out without my thought or permission, so fast that they probably didn't really understand what I was saying, but I couldn't stop them. "First these stupid crows were harassing me, like an entire flock and they even tore up my hood!" I poked at the fabric. "And because of the stupid crows, Chiba was able to find me and I don't know why he was stalking me anyway! It took a while to get away from his stupid challenge so I missed the bus, and then Wakasama stole my wallet, and I stepped in cat poop and fell on my face, and when I _finally_ got it back and went into town Joker and Sonoda were waiting to hassle me! And then I got back on the bus so they would leave me alone, but the bus was a nonstop to Narita and the mean old bus driver wouldn't let me get off no matter how much I begged! What a jerk!"

I paused just long enough to suck in a deep breath, and continued, "And it's not fair, none of this would have happened if you weren't keeping secrets! I thought you guys were my friends!"

Kuya and Masatsugu glanced at each other, but I didn't care anymore. If they wanted to keep secrets from me, then fine. The school year was almost over; I didn't need them!

Masatsugu took a breath, and I braced myself for his scolding.

"Ninosuke, you're absolutely right. We've been treating you unfairly and keeping secrets, and it's harmed our friendship."

I reflexively opened my mouth to fire back in protest. As the meaning of his words hit my brain, my expression went from one of impending complaint to openmouthed shock. "Wait, what?"

"Ninosuke!" Kuya leaned forward, grabbing one of my hands with both of his own. His fingers were warm, and I blushed unconsciously, the heat of his skin reminding me of happier times, just the three of us hanging out together. "I'm really sorry! I didn't mean for you to feel left out or like we didn't care about you! You're my dear friend, one of my best friends ever!"

"K, Kuya, don't squeeze so hard..." Breaking away from his desperate grip would have been a trivial thing, but I didn't feel like it. Instead, I bit my lip to keep a silly grin from lighting my face. "Um, so, does that mean you're gonna tell me what's going on...?"

Masatsugu nodded, reaching up to adjust his glasses. "Yes, we are. Only, please agree that what we discuss here will not leave this room. It's especially important that none of the members of Durak find out; with their gossip network, the entire school would know in an instant."

I nodded tentatively, not quite sure if I could believe my ears. They were really going to let me in on whatever secret they'd been guarding for Asahina? "So it's something bad?"

"Er," Kuya finally released my hand, leaving a ghost of warmth on my skin. "It's not really bad, but there would be a lot of trouble if people found out..."

"That means it's bad, Kuya," Masatsugu sighed. "However, for the sake of Asahina's privacy and his future, this needs to be kept a secret."

Vague impressions of ideas floated around in my mind, and I seized upon the first and most likely. "Asahina's dating someone outside the school, right? Someone older? There's already a rumor about that, so it's not like anyone finding out for sure would be a big deal."

Masatsugu's cold stare pierced me as surely as any shuriken could. "We're counting on your promise, Ninosuke. Please give us your word."

"Swear on your honor as a ninja, Ninosuke!" Kuya urged.

"Okay, okay, fine," I sighed, fighting back a hint of a smile. It was annoying being asked to promise like a little kid, but also familiar; we'd asked each other to swear on various types of honor many times before, for multiple secrets. It had started with Masatsugu's revelation that he was the author of the very book I was reading, and had spread to all our student council secrets, including trivial ones like which box held the secret stash of chocolate or where Kuya kept the confiscated goodies that he didn't want to surrender to school management.

"Say it right!"

"Ugh, Kuya, don't be so annoying," I sighed. "I swear on my honor as a ninja to keep whatever secret you guys are about to tell me. Is that good?"

"Yeah, it's great!" Kuya leaned in closer, voice dropping lower as if there was anyone else around to listen in. "Well, there's some truth to the rumors. Yuki is dating someone older."

"From outside the school, right? I heard it was a college girl." I scratched my chin, blushing a little. "Or maybe even a guy?"

"Asahina is dating an older man," Masatsugu confirmed, face set, tone flat. I bit my lip, considering it. Well, it wasn't all that shocking; the rumors had been flying for long enough that I'd been hearing all of the different variations for a few months now. I guess I'd gotten desensitized. Nothing that matched up with any of them would be too scandalous at this point.

I was more surprised by Masatsugu's wooden expression. "I guess you don't approve. Is the guy really that much older?"

"Yes, he is. It's improper, for various reasons."

It was really unlike Masatsugu to be so evasive and vague, but I knew him well enough to realize that pressing for more information would get me nowhere. I didn't really enjoy attempting to get information out of a stone wall, anyway. Much easier to get it from a marshmallow...

"Various reasons?" I looked to Kuya. "You guys know who it is, then?"

He nodded, looking uncommonly serious. "Yeah."

I waited a few seconds, but he looked down at the table without saying anything. "Well? You're not going to tell me? I even promised like you said!"

"Yeah, I know," Kuya's voice was more subdued than usual. "Just... you have to promise not to tell Yuki that you know, either."

"Wait, Asahina doesn't know that you know his secret? Then how'd you find out?"

"W, well, Yuki did tell me that he had a boyfriend, and Masatsugu got it out of me somehow," he glanced over at Masatsugu with a pout, "and he's the one who put the clues together to figure out who it was. And all our observations support his theory, so... we're pretty sure it's right."

"It's not a theory, it's a fact," Masatsugu stated coldly. "There's no denying the truth."

"Come on," I groaned, "spit it out already!"

My friends locked eyes again for a few seconds, silently communicating, or maybe having some sort of mental battle. It seemed that Kuya was the loser, because he heaved a sigh and turned back to me with an uncomfortable expression. He fidgeted for a few seconds, and to my surprise, Masatsugu spoke up on my behalf. "It's not fair to keep Ninosuke waiting, Kuya."

"I, I know! It's just... kind of hard to say." He gulped in a breath and stared directly at me. I couldn't remember the last time he'd looked so serious. "You're not going to believe this, but... it's Professor Sakaki."

I blinked.

"No reaction...?" Masatsugu sounded concerned.

"You're pulling my leg." I looked from Kuya to Masatsugu and back again, but they both looked deadly serious. "Okay, guys, stop that, you're kind of creeping me out."

"We are, unfortunately, one hundred percent serious." I didn't have to look at Masatsugu to know that he was scowling.

I stood up so fast that my chair wobbled behind me, face hot. "W, what!? You've got to be kidding me, there's no way..." My voice dropped lower, as if saying it out loud was too ridiculous, "that P, Professor Sakaki would... with that idiot..."

No way. It was impossible! _That_ cranky hardass, who didn't care about anything except torturing students with complex math problems and theories? He spent all his free time working, creating horrible things like custom homework and individual tests! And he wouldn't even slow down in class if someone had a question--

Oh. Wait. Now that I thought about it, the grumpy bastard had softened up a bit recently. And there was even a set of rumors about him, and... they kind of matched up with the rumors about Asahina. I sank back into my seat, eyes widening as I considered it.

"Oh... so that's why he's chilled out recently. The rumor that he's getting some is true..."

"Ninosuke! Is that all you have to say?!" Kuya looked like his head was about to explode. Masatsugu just sighed and shook his head.

"W, well, there's lots of rumors about him too! I couldn't help remembering those!" I stared down at the desk, considering it, but after all, it didn't make any sense. Sure, there was plenty of evidence, like the fact that both of them left the island every weekend, or that Asahina went for math tutoring pretty often, but they didn't have anything in common. Maybe the professor was a weird pervert who was into students? That was kinda gross... and what about Asahina? Ugh.

"Um, you're sure everything is okay with that? I mean... a teacher and a student..."

"There's nothing okay about it," Masatsugu stated flatly.

"Masatsugu," Kuya's voice held a note of warning, "it's not up to you to decide. You promised to stay out of it as long as Yuki is happy."

I snorted. "He seems a little too happy about everything. Wow..."

My brain couldn't really get a grip on it. Asahina and Professor Sakaki? I couldn't imagine two people who were more different; Asahina was a total derp, immature and with an unhealthy fixation on food, and the professor was a cool, calm adult. And weren't they enemies in the Bell One?! Asahina really was a sucker, forgiving his mortal enemy that easily. My face colored a bit more at that thought; Asahina had forgiven me too, refusing to pay attention to my pointed dislike of him or any insults that I hurled his way.

"Please keep it a secret, Ninosuke," Kuya tugged on my sleeve. "I know you don't get along very well with Yuki, but he's a precious friend to me. And if you'd let him get a little closer to you, he'll be a good friend to you too! He really wants to know you better!"

"Yeah, yeah," I sighed, suddenly hit by the weariness of the day. "But I don't wanna. I want to go do something with you guys, without Asahina for once."

"Then," Masatsugu said, "why don't we go to your favorite all-you-can-eat sushi restaurant? There's only a small amount of student council work left for tomorrow. I'm sure Asahina would forgive us if we left it for him this time."

That perked me up a little. "R, really? I don't have to finish this club proposal?"

"Yeah, it can be Yuki's turn to finish it up! We haven't been out in a long time, sushi is a great idea!" Kuya was grinning like an idiot. "It'll be our treat! How about it?"

I practically flew out of my chair. "Your treat?! Alright, let's go!"

~ end ~


End file.
